Dirty Little Secret

A couple of days ago I received an email from a friend asking me to be one of his accountability partners. Let me explain… For the past couple of years he has been battling an addiction to internet porn; he called it his “dirty little secret.” He knows it’s wrong and has tried many times to stop, battling it on his own, but to no avail. At his wits end he emailed me and asked if I would help.

I gave it some thought and suggested he try a piece of software I came across in the past, an accountability program from XXXchurch.com. Once installed this software sits in the background on any computer and records internet usage. Then once a month it sends out a detailed email to accountability partners informing them of any “suspect” sites that have been visited during that time. The program works well; in the past I have been an accountability partner for someone else battling this very same addiction.

It must have taken some serious humility for my friend to email me and tell me of the battle he’s been fighting. He’s a graduate student with a Masters degree in Theology. He’s a father and husband. And, he’s a pastor. “Shock! Horror!” I hear you say. “A pastor struggling with internet porn? What has this world come to?”

Many of us think of pastors as some kind of supermen,impervious to the wicked temptations of the world, while we tend to think of those who are addicted to porn as lowly, dirty individuals who you can see coming a mile off.

However, according to recent stats, pastors battling addiction to porn is not that rare. XXXChurch.com reveals that as many as 51% of pastors say porn is a temptation and 37% say it’s currently a struggle. If these stats are correct then 4 in 10 of pastors looked at porn today, yet only 30% of them will ever talk about and expose their “dirty little secret.” (1)

It has taken some time for my friend to begin dealing with his problem, but an email I received today reveals his relief that someone is willing to stand by him through this struggle. He knows he has a long road ahead of him, including the inevitable confrontation with his wife, family, and congregation, yet he knows that God is with him and will sustain him through the difficult times ahead.

Maybe you, or someone you know, are struggling with an addiction to internet porn. Let’s face it, porn on the Net is probably the easiest thing to find. Don’t believe it? Did you know that 266 new porn sites go online daily. That’s over 96,800 new porn sites every year! (2)

If you are addicted to internet porn then should should try the XXXChurch.com software. It’s easy to use and it’s free. Simply download, install, and gather around yourself at least a couple of accountability partners; godly men or women who will stand by you.

Talk to someone. I have found in every church I have been a part of there was usually someone who had successfully conquered an addiction to porn. Ask your pastor if they know of someone like this you could talk to.

And last, but not least, pray. Pray that God will give you strength when you are weak, guidance when you have lost your way, and forgiveness when you succumb to the temptations that will undoubtedly battle for control of your mind and soul.

We all struggle with something. Temptations come in all shapes and sizes and none of us is without fault, but isn’t it good to know that “(we) can do all things through him who strengthens (us).” Philippians 4:13 (ISV)

Christian St John M.Div, BChM, ACS
October, 2008

Note: The “friend” that I speak of in this article gave me full permission to talk about his situation. He will also keep me updated as to his ongoing battle.

References:
1. Sourced from http://xxxchurch.com/gethelp/pastors/stats.html Accessed 15th Oct. 2008
2. Sourced from http://msnbc.com and http://www.good.is Accessed 15th Oct. 2008

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